www.katecarleton.com

Recent research confirms what we all thought long ago; men and women do communicate differently and equally important, handle conflict differently. How does this effect you as a director or manager? Stephen Covey says in his book “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”- “seek first to understand”. Here are 3 quick tips to improve communication:

1. Understand what’s behind the comment (their core values, needs, feelings)
2. Discern what they want as a result of their conversation
3. Actively listen from their point of view. If you are thinking about what you want to say, or ready to defend or refute their statement, you are not listening!

Here are other tips: In a business meeting, men are programmed to solve problems, be decisive, and move forward, while women like to collaborate, discuss at length, confirm others, and give support. As an effective boss/ manager, you have to participate in active listening to understand what the speaker wants to communicate, rather than what you want to understand. Seek to understand their style of communication and take the DISC assessment to learn the different communication styles. Life will be easier!

Deborah Tannen, Ph.D, Linguistics professor at Georgetown University, talks about how

• Women speak to be accepted in the group and use tenative words, like “I think” and “probably”, “most likely”.
• Men use definative words, speak from a place of position and power, often taking credit for work someone else did.

So the key is…. what does the speaker need: Does she need to be acknowledged or be heard? Does he speak to influence or control others? If you understand the difference between the players (mars and venus), you can move conversations forward, diminish the differences, and acknowledge all the team, regardless of their style. As my yoga teacher says, “Everything you do today, prepares you for tomorrow.” Are you prepared for tomorrow?

- Kate-

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